Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Best Sue Sylvester Quotes

My 10 favourite quotes from Sue Sylvester:

I spent large segments of each day picturing you choking on food, and I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that I once shoved your face into one of those pink-inflamed monkey butts

While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them.

You think this was hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they're going in another direction. That was hard

I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.

I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.

You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian.

Get out of my office... if you can manage squeezing through the door without your water breaking all over the carpet

You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hail with enormous amounts of product. Today, it just looks like you put lard in it.

I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college ? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners

Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

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