Best Sue Sylvester Quotes

My 10 favourite quotes from Sue Sylvester:

I spent large segments of each day picturing you choking on food, and I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that I once shoved your face into one of those pink-inflamed monkey butts

While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them.

You think this was hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they're going in another direction. That was hard

I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.

I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.

You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian.

Get out of my office... if you can manage squeezing through the door without your water breaking all over the carpet

You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hail with enormous amounts of product. Today, it just looks like you put lard in it.

I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college ? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners

Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

The bestest

Favourite 10 things of the week:


1)Eloise & I's Clothes Swap- I finally get to wear the pink and black stripey cardigan

2)Sue Sylvester- I wanna be as funny and evil as her

3)Paramore- new love for Riot!

4)Eloise's Meatballs- They were delicious!

5)Ladakh dress- It's the prettiest!

6)Waxed Eyebrows- I've felt so pretty & clean since I've had them done

7)Headbands- New fav accessory-again

8)Glee Soundtracke Vol 2- I like Smile the most on it

9)Glee Season Final- Was pretty much the best episode

10)Spooning with Wattsy- I like being little & big spoon.

Main Players

Eloise, Moo, Lemmiwinks, Jeremy & Linkin (The dog), Jasmine & Zabi (The dog), Wattsy♥

The wheels on the bus go round and round

Public Transport Monthly Roundup- June

Catching a bus through Dandenong everyday for work is at times highly amusing and at other times downright scary. I have made a rule with myself not to take my phone out of my pocket at Dandenong Station- just don't do it, ever!

In the morning generally everyone is quiet, its too early for the junkies to be up and annoying everybody and begging for drug money and/or smokes.
On the way home its a completely different story.
2 Weeks ago there was a guy actually arranging a drug deal on the bus, in front of everyone and doing a suggestive sell as well as in "hey why don't get a quarter instead of a gram?" He must have needed the money.
There is also a guy who catches my bus every afternoon, I've actually nicknamed him Angry Dude for reasons I'm sure you can guess. The dude is just a total Prick (with a capital P) Racist, Inconsiderate, Severe anger issues and just an absolute meathead he has been known to yell at people for accidentally kicking his seat, yell at bus drivers for being late or not opening the doors fast enough on the bus. I hate him and refuse to sit anywhere near him in case:
A) He beats me up
or B) People think I am associated with him, each option is equally bad.
Last week there was a guy who was offended when another guy who he didn't know sat on the other end of the backseat with him. Loud complaints were made and bitching proceded and he actually asked the guy if he sat there because he wanted a cuddle, now this is Dandenong so add in a little more coloured language.

For the closer though nothing beats the girl who was on her phone and not very quiet about it for about 15 mins and divulged that she had pasta for dinner the night before, was annoyed at Lisa and told whoever she was on the phone to that her new boyfriend sucked in bed- as in bad at everything. I'm not gonna get too graphic in what she said- shame she couldn't do the same.

Lemimonster

Naughty little Lem Lem has decided the world is his toilet. Which wouldn't be such a problem if he wasn't purely an inside cat.
Yesterday he was caught peeing in the kitchen sink, today on a top of mine and in the shower, who knows where it will be tomorrrow.
This is what happens with boy cats- they can be disguisting little grots just like normal boys, but he is usually so sweet and cute that I am willing to put up with this...sorta. I'm booking him in for nuetering in 2 weeks.And then we'll see if he's better, in the meantime i'm gonna buy a spray bottle, fill it with water and spray Lemi everytime I see him squat.

I wish i could teach him to go to the toilet like that cat.

If my heart was a house

The first time I saw the house we moved into, i hated, hated, hated it.
Whenever anybody asked me about the house before we had moved in I would tell them the worst things about it- it looks like it might fall apart, its so old fashioned, the floor is yuck, the kitchen is totally 70's, it reminds me of a house from Two Hands or Underbelly.
That all stopped the day we moved in.
Sure the house still has it faults- it's always cold, the electric stove takes an hour longer to cook anything than a normal stove and the taps are leaky but i love, love, love it.
It will always be the house that was my first step into independance,the first commitment that big with a boyfriend, the first time I've had to be responsible for pets.
I'm sure there will be a lot of first times in this house- I can't wait!

Lemmiwinks

Lemmiwinks is our new kitten, although he's more in his cat teens than baby kitten.

After about a year of harrasing Wattsy he finally relented and let me get a kitten.
"It can be my birthday present" I argued, "Moo needs a friend" was a another comment I made.

I Googled "Free Kittens to good home" and got a result in Springvale, only about 15 minutes away from us, I called the man (who sounded nice and normal) and arranged to pick up a 9 week old girl kitten on Saturday.

Saturday morning we go to pick up our kitten and arrive at one of those houses that you see on a Current Affair with rubbish and smelly stuff all over the yard. The nice and normal man looks like a homeless Santa who freaked Wattsy out so much he confessed on the way home that he thought the homeless Santa lured us there with kittens and was going to kill us.

He takes us out the back, (We have to dodge Cactus, bins full of water, grass up to our knees etc...) and we see these kittens locked in a small glasshouse type shed. The kitten I was supposed to get was a girl which was a brown tabby- but then I saw this scared, super cute grey tabby hiding in a pillow- I knew then we'd be taking him. Santa puts him in the box and away we go.

It wasn't until after we got home and opened the box that we realised he was a feral, he cried (and not the cry of a 9 week old kitten, it turns out he's about 4 months old) and climbs up the security door to the railing in our house. For about 15 mins he cried and shook until Wattsy got him down insisting that he has to go to the pound as he is a feral, I had my doubts though he seemed scared but wasn't hissing or scratching. After about an hour of crying and shaking and runnning to hide every chance he got Wattsy held him and he purred- I knew he was staying then and there.

The first 2 weeks Of Lemmiwinks being there weren't the greatest for him- he was covered in oil and fleas- so he was flea treated and wormed in a few days and about a week of upset tummy from changing his diet, he's nothing like the cat we picked up from that place though. He's smoochy, playful, talkative nad hyperactive and he seems to have really made himself at home.

He's pretty much the best thing ever!